Xaphiroth

My health is in good terms.
My daughter's is too.
My son thinks he's Batman.
My other daughter wants to become a mad scientist like Nathan's mum.
My cat thinks he's a bear.

So much for non-activity...anyway...
I caught myself deep in thought this morning after I sent my mini-me's off to school, thinking of the past. I've been doing this a lot these days, it seems out of control at times.
Although I do not think of the bad events in my life, I tend to remember the bizarre and extremely hilarious portions.
Why? I don't know.  

  I found myself marveling a certain friend of mine, her actions of from a certain moment really, really, stuck out.
If I remember correctly, it was in middle school, our home-ec class. It had just started, all of us were in the 8th grade, she on the other hand wasn't she was only in our class because of a fluke.

  And once again, she was the only female in our group(this always happens witih her), this has to be some kind of joke, really.  So before anything is settled she makes a deal with us, since she can't cook to save her life, she offered to clean everything if the rest of us would do all the cooking. Great deal, it worked.  So then I figured this girl can actually think several steps ahead. This is where I noticed how different she was with me than she was in a group.

  Our group was an odd one and to mean odd is a tragic understatement. We had two mafioso brats, a brawling maniac, a super geek,a dark prince, and a shy girl that was amazingly out of place... or so it seemed. This was middle school, so as usual the stupidity was quite vivid.

  One group disliking another group etc etc.  Our group got along pretty well, actually very well...but I do remember a situation where we were making pizza and one of the mafioso brats demanded that our lovely lady couldn't have any of the pizza even though she had been busting her ass off keeping everything clean. She put the little shit in his place and not only she got her pizza she got him to buy her a drink. She paid him back the 50 cents though. So then I think, she stands her ground too, good.

As the months dragged on our teacher decided to move us around to spice things up...it failed horribly. So we all got put back together(the entire class) because by the end of her brilliant idea seven students had been suspended(WTF?). Then it seemed like there was an issue between our group and the one across the room from us, these were gangbangers in the making. These ruffians seemed to have  offended the mafioso brats and since our shy girl had befriended the hooligans and had also taken some heat from the gangbangers...so her ego was hurt and she devised a plan. The supergeek and I just stood back, watching the insanity unfold.

  We were making pizza again, the room was hectic, we had to make every bloody thing from scratch. Our girl got one student to accidently turn on one  of the self cleaning ovens which enraged our teacher and while the woman was distracted our fiendish lass dipped her huge wooden spoon into a tub of tomatoe sauce and told her mafioso friends to think big.

  They hurled the red paste over head towards the gangbanger group.  Most of the throws missed and the sauce would splat on the rafters or land on top of the lights, no direct hit. Since everything was so hectic no one even noticed the red splotches of randomness. Our girl went at it herself... she landed not once but around four times but still, the mass hysteria was so much not even the target realized what was going on.

  Until... there was one direct facial hit and it sent the gangbanger chick into a screaming rage and automatically accused our group of doing this horrible act. We pretended not to notice, this however failed to even register with our girl and she was well on her way to lob another red sloppy bomb. The teacher made her way to our table just as our girl and her buddies were about to lob a volley at our accusers. Almost shocked, our teacher would ask "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

  Our cunning female, AGAIN, thought quickly on her feet and said. "They're teaching me how to Russian dance."
It made perfect sense since all three of them had their arms up with spoons. While the rest of us were flailing away with our bowls and such.

  The teacher demanded a demonstration after lecturing them on how this wasn't a dance class and she failed to notice the red material STILL in the spoons. As the trio made a jig of some sort, almost in unison they lobbed their ammo and in some bizarre fashion I saw the sauce splatter in an angle and in such an odd way that it not only hit the gangbangers again, there was no trail or sign of the sauce reaching the ceiling, lights or rafters. No one noticed but us. Victory.

She saved our asses, stroked our egos and we had amazing pizza.

Ah memories...

Teni always had that ability to bargain and either make a calm situation or make a very chaotic one. Sometimes she'd mangle the two and everyone would have fun or become increasingly miserable.

Ah memories..

after my hotmail and yahoo accounts
got... MANGLED
i got.. up on
.... GMAIL!
yes so add me to your MSN's again
xaphiroth@gmail.com

1. My screenname has nothing to do with the holy mother fucker, called Sephiroth.

2. Sephiroth is an angelic term, Xaphiroth is demonic in every way.

3. Yeah, I was named after a demon. (yes, my mother has an absurd sense of humor ) Formerly an angel, but hey, what was the end result? DEMON.

4. Blame my sisters & goofy friends. They combined my name (xaphan)-- with its nickname XAPHIE with... ASTEROTH/astroth whatever.

5. See the semi-math here? Xaphie= Xaphi + Asteroth = Roth =  Xaphi+Roth=XAPHIROTH?

Now, those of us with braincells can understand this.
I have no part in the fandom of final fantasy, my interests vary and Final Fantasy-- does not even register.

It just does not strike my fancy.